Indeed, sometimes that is the best thing for both of you. On one hand, he probably expects you to beg him or offer an alternative solution. It totally happens and thats why I doubt this research. But dont be too quick to ease his worries. But I do want you to understand the importance of you finding yourself again, which means you need to be happy with who you are and not feel dependent on your Ex. It has saved my life. Why do you think I want you to be the one to make the first move no matter what? But i begged and cried infront of him that please do this to me. I got as far as typing the text message that I wanted to send into my phone but for whatever reason my pride prevented me from hitting that send button. What do you do when someone you care about is silent towards you? If he gets somewhat angry or annoyed because of that, take it as a good sign because that means he still cares. Should You Go No Contact With Your Situationship? Hello! Unless you suspect that your ex is not adequately caring for your child, it's best to stay out of their house. So, there is no use getting all depressed over a strategy that is literally at its beginning. Well, if you take a look at the true purpose of no contact (to make him feel like he misses you) you cant really tell if he misses you or not if he never contacts you. However, after your 30 days are completed he hasnt contacted you and you are left feeling pretty depressed. Plant those attraction seeds that Chris talks about in all his books. Remember, your main goal here is to get your ex back and in order to do that communication is key. You can go out alone and do soul searching. We ended on good terms, and I did a little begging on Thursday when he broke up with me but other than that I havent. I didnt respond. And if your ex boyfriend is active in any of these social media platformsguess what? What if hes still angry after a long time.lets say after two weeks? And while your ex's feelings toward you . He wouldnt talk to me at first when he found out . We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. Hi, On day 30 of her no contact period her ex finally broke down and sent out a message to her. In time you can do something to help correct that false perception. In all, there are 3 legitimate reasons that come to mind. . Opened it its been 5 days and still hasnt It could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend has gone through the following progression. He said cause of humanity. I got really drunk and called him late that mjght after texting all night and said some mean things . Consider including activities or things he loves (so long as you enjoy as well). I have kids and we broke up because he couldnt see a future for us dispite saying he is in love with me, Im the one blah blah blah. Thats life. He talked about maybe how things annoyed him that he hasnt spoke of but wouldnt tell me what they were. This could have the opposite effect of what your are trying to achieve in that you could be unintentionally making the pursuit of his old flame even more exciting for him. Sometimes your ex boyfriend wont be able to see the error of his way or learn to forgive you of your mistakes unless there is a clean break. Why? But he didnt listen to me. Are you supposed to care the same way after the break up? N he hasnt born to explain actions to anyone. He and I work in the same building and I didnt wave at him today and he completely blocked me on socials out of nowhere. Keep in mind that he said hed love to be friends and that he still wants to talk to me. Here is what a failing attitude looks like: I am so depressed he hasnt called me my life revolves around him blah, blah, blah.. Also Im pretty sure he has slept with someone else during this time. I dont know what to do it consumes me . That if he wanted to talk about working things out, then thats another story. He got defensive and said hed never marry again. While that may sound horrible to you, particularly now with the break up still fresh in your mind, a clean break sometimes cleanses the soul. N cut the call. And it allows you to maintain your dignity and leave the conversation in a position of power. Dont allow yourself to be guilted into thinking you should feel miserable. No calls no text just shows up? If you think in these terms and form images about the crazy scenarios you conjure up, then you are prone to think this way.again and again. Since you are not so great at discussing your feelings with your ex, you figure perhaps there is another way to go about things. It might take 90 days of no contact. And also look into different living situations so you are not living together long term while broken up. I know I cheated but I have done nothing but try even tho I got drunk and freaked out . That would just probably push him away and he would have a right to feel angry. Why is he angry? My dad has come up from Florida To visit and meet him finally . Hey Melissa, so you are doing No Contact right giving that you are not reaching out to him and hopefully not viewing his posts if he does post to SC. Hi! Depending on how things went down between the two of you, your ex may be behaving this way to strike back. Would you rather him do it? Sometimes we need to be angry in a constructive way to work out the emotions. Hi Brie, it really is your call if you want to move on or not. For one thing, its too fast for him to move on right away, particularly straight into the arms of another. So that means you have to be active in social media. His father died during this period and also i supported him very much. How Attachment Styles Can Help You Get An Ex Back, How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend, How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back With Social Media, Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get Their Exes Back, Using Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back, What Your Ex Says Vs. What They Really Mean. Today I texted him to check (office) as I didnt wanted him to miss the project enquiry. Told him he didnt act like a boyfriend that cared by the way he was talking . Well, its not that they cant be good its just that viewing relationships as a game is not going allow you to succeed. Avoid reacting to what you think he is doing. And over time, that will work on his psyche. Dont confuse him. Why? So lets say that after all of your efforts, nothing happens. We both cried he said he just wanted space so he could miss me and we could start over. Maybe they're curious as to how you're doing or maybe they want to make you jealous. Few days before he left for abroad, he asked me to meet him and to have physical relation for last time but i refused to meet him as we were not in relation anymore so why would i agreed to his such demand. We can never be sure how relationships will jell. ex unfriended me during no contact ex unfriended me during no contact. He may discover what he actually was experiencing before when he said he was "tired of you," was just the normal up and down of relationship. Ask yourself first. However, he knows a relationship between both of you won't work. But still there is nothing good happening. This is something I have talked about numerous times throughout this site so it only makes sense that I talk about it again here. The following Thursday I messaged to check in, he replied and said his head was all over the place. To him he just needs to get his head straight but wouod love to take him out to dinner . However, if he doesnt contact you it is entirely possible that he still misses you but he is just too stubborn to reach out (which I will talk to you about in a little bit.). It will help keep your mind off of sad times. I was gonna yell at him for acting so mean and disresful he never answered and I wasnt gonna blow up his phone. Hi I initiated no contact and he messaged me after 2 weeks. You start off with really high hopes that throughout this process he will end up contacting you. Often what happens is the guy figures out why he broke up with his old flame in the first place. So, even if you are not right in front of him, remember, you will often be on his mind. Now, I am not advocating you or anyone else try to convince your ex boyfriend that you found another guy. Went on a date, talked, but not about relationship. We never fought in our relationship. U wanted to be free u r free. Hi all! One of the biggest fears readers have is that their ex boyfriend may never give them another chance if they were to do the no contact rule. Even after fights, but no lovey dovey, nothing romantic ever, not a single text of missing you, or love you. So, do yourself a favor and dont turn into that on me. You read up on things and decide you will try the No Contact Rule. Dont send anything and dont reply to anything unless it is super important such as an immediate bill for example. Due to weeks of neglect, suffocation, disrespect, or anything that she perceived in a negative light, your ex is now going through a very negative experience. So I get all kinds of comments like this! I did do a little begging afterwards and tried to reach a resolution but he was adamant it was over. I hv accepted everything). While I am certainly annoyed to get responses like that I do have to take some of the responsibility. Women who often visit this site message me asking something like, My ex boyfriend doesnt seem to be affected at all by the breakup. From the beginning, we had an interesting relationship in the way that she came out to me as being gay/lesbian. I have started complete no contact in attempt to reset the relationship, particularly financial boundaries, and to increase esteem and respect. I went down stairs, foundggrandma unconscious, after three days I lost her. He said I deserve better and cannot wait. So it caught me off guard. It is my privilege to work with and help women and men throughout the world with their breakups. I later learned during our last 2 months together he went on tinder and started dating some girl. If your ex boyfriend didnt reply after the second attempt or you want to prepare for that possible outcome, then read this article: What to do when the no contact rule doesnt work. She is likely to experience significant grief during this time of no contact. I ended things last night saying that I loved him but I couldnt beg him to love me the way I love him and that I hoped hed come back to me and I hoped he was going to be okay.. do you think the No contact rule will maybe push him to get better or am I a horrible person for not staying longer when Ive begged him for things to go back to how they were. I tried to reconcile with no avail. Sometimes it is up to you to reach out and form that emotional attachment. She came back home, n he said I dnt wana talk to you unless its work. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Wrong to good to him . It also makes me feel like he doesnt care that much that he doesnt even want his clothes . I was wrong. Don't get comfortable and slide back into old habits. If he contacts me then he contacts me. Have a snapchat account and play with the filters. We developed a great bond and we were together for 4 years. We had never argued! You wont leave him wondering what youve been up to. I cant understand why he has done this as hes always been so set on being with me. Neither of us have tried to contact each other since we ended it. Go visit my home page to learn more about the tools and resources I make available. I am a single mom of a daughter who is not his child and Im done Im going in circles in a relationship that Im even unsure if there will be an end I.e marriage. What about when you were a little bit older and saw something at the store that you really wanted but they were simply silent to your request? What should you do if your ex does not respond to your first contact message? He was still a bit all over the place in his thoughts and said he needed to think about things. The longer and closer the relationship, the harder it is for the love connection to be completely lost. Fights n fights, he started saying, he doesnt feel relaxed with me, he is not open with me now, because I dnt trust him n nag him to tell me if something happens as promised, fights fights, this time in dec 2018 he blamed me for the failure of the startup, he blamed me for not being there for him n with him. Personally, I think men like this arent very good in relationships. Then he cut off all the contact with me and didnt reply me. We dated for a year and then broke up, he didnt think his feeling were where mine are and whilst they are growing for me he fears he wont get to a stage where I am. What often happens when people hold their feelings in? It seems to run against the grain of what you have been doing in the past. But again he will find me unwanted and started be rude to me while we were talking because in those days he was not getting visa to go to abroad. Let me explain. And then out of the blue he tells you that if you dont reply and be friends with him, you cant talk to him ever. Or lets say he showed signs that he liked her even before he broke up with you?, What if you come to believe that he is really serious about this other girl and has just moved on to her?. No ones ever loved me that much before he was so heartbroken when it all happened . Hes stubborn and Im really proud. You know, how breakups are hard on everyone involved. We had been seeing each other since the end of last year and all was going great until Corona hit. Finally he stopped by to get some clothes and to talk for an hour . Slowly you are building value in his eyes. Sometimes it happens, but the relationship with the other woman is casual (without sex). After that happened he lost his job and had issues with his family and has had a pretty deep depression going on Ive stuck around and said I wasnt going anywhere but conversation started to be lucky if I got one to two texts a day. Seriously, I am so used to messaging girls (who I am romantically interested in) first that it is kind of annoying to me to keep doing it. It can be entirely possible that the no contact rule was working you just have no idea because he has an amazing poker face. Let him have his fun. He may be angry because hes was not expecting this reaction. They think and hope that unfriending without blocking means that their ex still has feelings for them and that their ex . At lome point he asked me to co-sign for him at the bank. Now, I am not saying that everyone with that attitude will get their ex boyfriends back. He needs to see that you mean what you say and are willing to move on from him as you are allowing this pattern to continue means that you will never progress in your relationship or life. Of course I was upset but we ended on good terms. I would say walk away from this guy because he sounds like an ass, especially when he has children of his own! Well, just like I laid out, agree with him girl! But I told him that I know he has serious commitment issues and asked him to resolve them. No stalking. I am going to make this really simple for you. However, hes been doing that for the entire 2 plus years weve been together and I know he hadnt been with anyone else . Im so confused because I dont want to lose her. He said he had to let me go as he cant give now me the love and care I deserve. In fact, with some guys, thoughts of you may become a little obsessive. If a man really cared he wouldnt take 12 days to contact you . So after getting humiliated for so many times i decided to cut off contact with him. He just kept saying, I dont know what you want me to say. So, your ex doesnt want you to be happy after he breaks your heart? But my experience in these matters has taught me that often these other relationships an ex will get involved in are short term. I told him that I wanted things to go back to normal. He was very manipulative and lied a lot so I went into no contact and a week and a half later they are engaged to be married. youll need to understand the process we teach) so if you dont have that foundation I highly recommend you check out my best selling program to get it. I have been in no contact. After the no contact period is over. I just received a text at the 24 day mark. These ideas that get lodged into our minds can have negative psychological and spiritual consequences on our attitudes and behaviors. Besides, sometimes you will have to message your ex first and earn the right back to get him to message you. Why Not Learn So Much More By Reading The No Contact Rule Book. The only reason I found out is because she popped up in suggested friends lol I just don't really see the point lol. I dont know what to do for the best. Ex unfriended me on FB 4 months later. It is OK for me as I need time to trust again and want to know him better before embarking in a new relationship. We want him to notice. Remember, the line between love and hate is very thin. Hi, are in touch with her? But mostly he was listening. Has he moved on ? He messaged me (1 time) 7days after the NC started, I responded him 4 days after message. He is a very angry, stubborn person, who just always sees mistakes in others firsts. But what do you think is going on in his mind during this period of no contact? N later he texted me, saying ur mom is ill, ur grandpa is ill, why didnt to told me? Its a really messed up form of mental warfare on his part because he is doing it to hurt you (and he wants to hurt you.). I am hoping for a reconciliation with him but if that doesnt work out, I already feel happy with myself. Just because a couple breaks up and dont get back together after a month or two months or even a year; does not mean they never will. We both had children from previous relationships. But in this period our relation was also not going well. It wants what it wants and eventually it wore my pride down and a few days later I sent that message. The odd thing Ive put on social media hes never viewed. She said she hoped I would understand where she was coming from and she could not keep coming to this point. Because he will think that she dumped me before so she needs to be more careful but in reality he was wrong and he will show no improvement. His Snapchat number has been going up everyday all day in large amounts all of a sudddn which leads me to believe hes talking to someone else . Your ex might have unfriended you on social media, but there could be a range of reasons why they haven't blocked you. Should I continue my silence? You stayed strong during the whole 21, 30, or 45 days of No Contact. Honestly, it could but, you have more leverage if you use the no contact rule once he pursues her. Well, obviously Ex Boyfriend Recovery took off after that but if you go back and re-read my program you are going to learn a few interesting things. But he wasnt settled careerwise yet. It was a rocky one, but the high was worth the pain. Youre doing the no contact because you need time to heal and he needs time to think about his actions that contributed to the breakup. And he will probably show that he doesnt care. Such relationships are usually doomed to fail. Cant understand what is going on. The true purpose is to make him feel like a part of him misses you. Your email address will not be published. First, ask yourself.is it really because of the No Contact Period or is it that he needs more time. However, if he does end up biting the bullet and contacting you in that 21-30 day window that means there is a serious internal battle going on within him. When we came back he spent the night at my place but the day after he went home . Check out this article: The Grass is Greener Syndrome for Ex boyfriends to understand more about the Grass is greener case. In such a situation, youre not being rude because (once again) youve broken up. If he chose to pursue a rebound relationship, thats a reflection of his character. I'm hoping you'd fall for it again. Here I am again.. While I cant always answer everyone I try my very best to. Have been doing in the way he was still a bit all the., the harder it is OK for me as I didnt wanted him to them... 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